Hello, dear reader!
I'm Sue Deagle, your companion, supporter, and strategist for life’s ups and downs.
If you’ve ever found yourself:
facing an unexpected loss or transition,
grappling with a tangled web of emotions,
or just seeking some wisdom and humor for your daily grind,
you’re in the right place.
What is The Luminist all about?
The Luminist provides a guiding light for navigating loss, transition, and the struggles of daily life.
We’ve been taught to fear these hardships, to avoid them like the plague, and to stick our heads in the sand if we’re unlucky enough to find ourselves going through one. But bad things happen to ALL of us. Instead of ignoring them, at The Luminist we face them head on, with both vulnerability and empowerment. Because just like any good moment in life has something bad about it, anything bad has something good. We’re not minimizing pain, suffering, nor heartbreak, we’re learning how to dance with the complexity of life, eyes and heart open.
But don't worry, it's not all heavy lifting. We sprinkle in humor, lots of stories where I forget to practice what I preach, and a touch of irreverence to keep things lively.
Why did I start The Luminist?
I did not create The Luminist because everything in my life went right.
In 2016, without warning my healthy, unstoppable, singing-while-he-made-pancakes husband unexpectedly died at 50, leaving me and our two pre-teen kids shattered… But that turned out just to be the beginning of our story.
Over the next six years, with grief as my teacher I learned what really matters in life, how to be present with the little but amazing things, why human connection is worth any and all vulnerability, and so much more… In other words, loss taught me how to live a better life — a life that is bursting at the seams with love and depth and mystery. (All while holding down a c-suite position at an international corporation and getting my babies through high school. Turns out grief made me a better leader too.)
The Luminist is my love letter to this way of living, and Mike’s final gift to us all.
What can you expect at The Luminist?
Loss Myths, Truths, and Tips
Instead of teaching us how to survive loss, cultural stories promise us that it will be terrible, will continue to be terrible, and will stay terrible forever. The End. While loss can be world-shattering, it doesn’t have to be world-ending. Let’s talk about how.
#55: There are clues everywhere. Learning how to survive loss.
#14: Things will be great again. Giving each other permission to believe in the future while honoring the pain of the present.
#4: Console better. The profound power of bearing witness, sharing stories, and asking questions.
Reclaiming Our Full Humanity
No human life has ever been spent solely happy, productive, and in love. So why do we feel like we have to hide the shared reality that life is messy? Here we speak freely about the pitfalls and pleasures of human existence without shame, judgment, toxic positivity, or endless pessimism.
#25: Embracing my humanity (in the WSJ). Reclaiming the “unspeakable” aspects of existence.
#35: Enough waiting to “rest in peace”. Appreciating the good things in life while we’re still around to do it.
Resilience, Empowerment, and Joy
We explore how to relate with loss and hardship in a way that turns them into fertile soil for a well-lived life. Because life is always both/and: creation and destruction, empowerment and surrender, gratitude and “get me the f* out of here.”
Post #22: The resilience experiment. If you can learn from “failure” without self-judgment, you can be resilient.
Post #54: Making life out of death. Anniversary(s).
Practical Wisdom with Belly Laughs
Here, you'll find actionable insights with a healthy dose of “existence is absurd”. We’re not ignoring how hard life can be, but we’re not doom and gloom either. We’re licking our wounds, pouring a vodka gimlet, calling our best friend to laugh and cry, and (when we’re ready) moving forward.
#57: Smashing the reset button. We all have funks. This is how I handle mine.
#78: Alive, awake, participatory, and engaged. A widow’s advice for facing big transitions.
Join the Community
The Luminist is more than just a newsletter, it's a community. A space where we share, learn, and grow together. Whether you're here for healing, insight, or just to enjoy a good story, there's something for everyone.
So, grab a cup of coffee (or tea, or tequila—no judgment here, we “cope dirty” as necessary), and let’s get into it. Welcome to The Luminist, where we illuminate the pain, the pleasure, and the paradox on the path to technicolor living.
Sincerely,
