Today is the 12th anniversary of my husband’s death so I particularly appreciate what you wrote today. I, too, became both vulnerable and strong after his death, and particularly attuned to those who needed to be cared for. Just showing up is, indeed, the best thing for those undergoing hard times. One reason is that many people do not show up. They’re uncomfortable with your pain. It violates the happy bubble they’ve lovingly created for themselves. Your vulnerabilities and sadness aren’t fun so they distance themselves. It takes some years, but you finally realize this is because they’ve not had the unspeakable happen to them, and you’re a reminder that it might.
Yesterday I made myself vulnerable in front of the chorus I sing with, which is going to Ireland Friday for a week of touring and singing in majestic buildings. I admitted my persistent fear that I was going to sing the wrong thing, be that notes or words, and asked the director (whom I’ve had a hard time breaking through to) for advice. Her advice was perfect, broke the ice, and we all riffed on it for the rest of our day-long rehearsal. Vulnerability broke the ice and created a community. I was thrilled.
As always thanks for your writing and for allowing us to write back to you.
In my experience, all that you say here is true.
Today is the 12th anniversary of my husband’s death so I particularly appreciate what you wrote today. I, too, became both vulnerable and strong after his death, and particularly attuned to those who needed to be cared for. Just showing up is, indeed, the best thing for those undergoing hard times. One reason is that many people do not show up. They’re uncomfortable with your pain. It violates the happy bubble they’ve lovingly created for themselves. Your vulnerabilities and sadness aren’t fun so they distance themselves. It takes some years, but you finally realize this is because they’ve not had the unspeakable happen to them, and you’re a reminder that it might.
Yesterday I made myself vulnerable in front of the chorus I sing with, which is going to Ireland Friday for a week of touring and singing in majestic buildings. I admitted my persistent fear that I was going to sing the wrong thing, be that notes or words, and asked the director (whom I’ve had a hard time breaking through to) for advice. Her advice was perfect, broke the ice, and we all riffed on it for the rest of our day-long rehearsal. Vulnerability broke the ice and created a community. I was thrilled.
As always thanks for your writing and for allowing us to write back to you.
Sheryl