Okay, I'm going to be a little bold (you've met me, right?) and suggest that, perhaps, you are mourning old New Sue (the Sue you became after Mike)? And, now, you are becoming Sue Sue (the Sue after Mike and work and mothering children). You're letting go of someone again, but there's the next new you right there. Maybe. Perhaps? Kinda? Maybe not so much surviving this time, but another evolution? (Re)Birth is painful. It's glorious but full of all sorts of discomfort. And we forget that there's hurt when we are coming into something more. We think it should be painless and easy. And sometimes it is, but when it's a really big change, prepare for the ouches. You know how to do this. And you're doing it very well, Sue. xo
Sue........I've commented to you before about the loss of my sweet, sweet Joan. After four major relationships, including a marriage, and many minor relationships, at age 58 I found the love of my life. From the very first date Joan and I realized we were absolutely perfect for each other. In our 22 year relationship we never had one argument. She became my life. The night I found her dead on the floor began a trough that was millions of times deeper than any I have ever experienced in my life, and after sixteen months it is not going away. Nothing is taking the pain away. I've gone through six sessions with a psychologist and two grief groups, and nothing is taking away the pain. I have no children and friends that I have always had good relations with, have turned their backs on me, which has made the "trough" even deeper. As Joan was twelve years younger than me, we both always felt that she would be there to help me through my older years. We frequently joked that we knew how I was going to die -- "She was going to beat me to death with my bedpan!!" As I am now in my 80's, there is no one here to take care of the bedpan!! When you lost Mike you had your children for comfort and especially for love. I have no comfort and no love, and my "trough" only feels like it is getting deeper.
Thank you for your episodes.......Don Leedy, West Chester, OH
Such a good read and reminder, Sue! Thank you! I'm sending this along to my grief group to check out!
Okay, I'm going to be a little bold (you've met me, right?) and suggest that, perhaps, you are mourning old New Sue (the Sue you became after Mike)? And, now, you are becoming Sue Sue (the Sue after Mike and work and mothering children). You're letting go of someone again, but there's the next new you right there. Maybe. Perhaps? Kinda? Maybe not so much surviving this time, but another evolution? (Re)Birth is painful. It's glorious but full of all sorts of discomfort. And we forget that there's hurt when we are coming into something more. We think it should be painless and easy. And sometimes it is, but when it's a really big change, prepare for the ouches. You know how to do this. And you're doing it very well, Sue. xo
2 thoughts, I don’t think I can do a 7 hour hike., I probably would need to get my phone out every 20 feet or so. And I love that elto j song!
This is a message I needed to hear today, thank you!
Sue........I've commented to you before about the loss of my sweet, sweet Joan. After four major relationships, including a marriage, and many minor relationships, at age 58 I found the love of my life. From the very first date Joan and I realized we were absolutely perfect for each other. In our 22 year relationship we never had one argument. She became my life. The night I found her dead on the floor began a trough that was millions of times deeper than any I have ever experienced in my life, and after sixteen months it is not going away. Nothing is taking the pain away. I've gone through six sessions with a psychologist and two grief groups, and nothing is taking away the pain. I have no children and friends that I have always had good relations with, have turned their backs on me, which has made the "trough" even deeper. As Joan was twelve years younger than me, we both always felt that she would be there to help me through my older years. We frequently joked that we knew how I was going to die -- "She was going to beat me to death with my bedpan!!" As I am now in my 80's, there is no one here to take care of the bedpan!! When you lost Mike you had your children for comfort and especially for love. I have no comfort and no love, and my "trough" only feels like it is getting deeper.
Thank you for your episodes.......Don Leedy, West Chester, OH