After my husband died in 2012 I started a blog on Facebook about having been widowed when I wasn’t even 50 years old. That led to those online friendships you speak of. I bet that has already happened for you. I also had a robust support network IRL and that sustained me.
Almost 10 years later, I suffered a breakup with a man I’d had a relationship with for three years and had known since childhood. It was a leap of faith to go down that road, and I ended up badly burned.
By then my support network had moved, to the ends of the earth, it seemed. Those that remained were callous, telling me to get over it.
I continued to suffer loss after loss (no kidding), and it was the heyday of Covid so I was isolated at home, to boot. I sunk into a deep depression.
However, I managed to make an effort from time to time and now I have a small group of good friends whom I enjoy immensely. It required that I put myself out in the world when it was still all I could do to keep tears at bay.
I found something I loved to do, and my new friends loved it too. We are going out tonight. And I even have abandoned my fears and embarked on a new relationship.
I apologize for writing so much, but think it’s important to know that others have travelled our road and lived to tell the tale.
Thank you for highlighting the importance of fostering community. I think we forget sometimes that cultivating connections, friendship, is vital to our very existence. Shining a light on that need and being open about how you will go about building that tribe outside of your work life is why I love reading Luminist each Saturday morning!
So very true. In 2017, I left a successful and long career as an academic. So many things about higher ed were changing--and not for the better. Ever increasing burdens of administrivia were getting in the way of teaching. It was the right time for me to make a change. But what I missed and still miss most is the richness that comes from deep collaboration on a shared mission. Like you, I learned I have to be more intentional about maintaining old friendships and cultivating new ones.
The road will unfold, Sue. You know that. It's just about staying open, being curious and patient. I have no doubt your dance card (or coffee cup) will be quickly filled. xo
To have limitless possibilities for friendship is excellent, here’s what is on google.
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people.[1] It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague. Wikipedia.
Oh my sister, have I been here.
After my husband died in 2012 I started a blog on Facebook about having been widowed when I wasn’t even 50 years old. That led to those online friendships you speak of. I bet that has already happened for you. I also had a robust support network IRL and that sustained me.
Almost 10 years later, I suffered a breakup with a man I’d had a relationship with for three years and had known since childhood. It was a leap of faith to go down that road, and I ended up badly burned.
By then my support network had moved, to the ends of the earth, it seemed. Those that remained were callous, telling me to get over it.
I continued to suffer loss after loss (no kidding), and it was the heyday of Covid so I was isolated at home, to boot. I sunk into a deep depression.
However, I managed to make an effort from time to time and now I have a small group of good friends whom I enjoy immensely. It required that I put myself out in the world when it was still all I could do to keep tears at bay.
I found something I loved to do, and my new friends loved it too. We are going out tonight. And I even have abandoned my fears and embarked on a new relationship.
I apologize for writing so much, but think it’s important to know that others have travelled our road and lived to tell the tale.
Wishing you well,
Sheryl
Thank you for highlighting the importance of fostering community. I think we forget sometimes that cultivating connections, friendship, is vital to our very existence. Shining a light on that need and being open about how you will go about building that tribe outside of your work life is why I love reading Luminist each Saturday morning!
So very true. In 2017, I left a successful and long career as an academic. So many things about higher ed were changing--and not for the better. Ever increasing burdens of administrivia were getting in the way of teaching. It was the right time for me to make a change. But what I missed and still miss most is the richness that comes from deep collaboration on a shared mission. Like you, I learned I have to be more intentional about maintaining old friendships and cultivating new ones.
The road will unfold, Sue. You know that. It's just about staying open, being curious and patient. I have no doubt your dance card (or coffee cup) will be quickly filled. xo
To have limitless possibilities for friendship is excellent, here’s what is on google.
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people.[1] It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague. Wikipedia.