#102: Flipping the script on life’s unpredictability.
A trip to Wales, crying on stage, and a book deal.
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We talk a lot here about the hard times of life, the out-of-the-blue tragedies that leave you shell-shocked in a pile of rubble, wondering what the hell you do now.
But this post is about the other end of the spectrum — the small serendipities that snowball into giant, life-changing, holy-smokes-my-dream-is-coming-true realities…
“Do you want me to hold your tote bag?” Leona gently asked.
”Um… no thanks. I need something to clutch,” I responded, death gripping the canvas straps.
In 30 minutes time I’d be on stage, giving the most important talk of my life.
Long-time readers will know that the Do Lectures are part of
The Luminist’s origin story.
When I attended the off-the-beaten-path event in 2022, it was just the inspirational shove I needed to begin executing on the dream I had had for several years: change the conversation around loss in our culture.
Two months later I met my editor Leona.
Two months after that, we hit publish on our first post.
I can speak in front of crowds in my sleep.
It wasn’t always this way. But now I have enough faith in what I have to say and enough reps over my 30+ years in corporate America to thrive with a mic in hand.
But giving a talk at Do Wales? About a subject I’m dedicating my life to? Achieving a goal I’ve strived for, fought for, prayed for over the last two years? This was an ‘all chips in the center of the table’ moment for me. And I really did not want to screw it up.
I’d endlessly practiced my talk on the pilgrim path, arms waving, strategic pausing, wiping away a tear. So the guts were ready. It was the delivery that was freaking me out. In an effort to calm my racing heart, I walked. I strolled up a nearby country lane, letting the trees and meadow grasses drain out some of my nervous energy. Then a view of Cardigan Bay made me feel just the right kind of small — I remembered my talk was just a blip in the grand scheme of life. With that lightness, I headed back down to the cow shed and stepped on stage…
{WHEW}
I said everything I wanted to say. I felt calm but elated, focused but radiating energy.
And I did Mike proud.
It’s easy to sit around waiting for things to happen.
Waiting for our lives to change, for the tides to turn, for success to require no risk and guarantee reward. But at a certain point, rather than waiting for things to happen, it’s time to happen to things.
This is essentially the premise of the Do Lectures — to inspire people to do stuff. It’s one thing to have an idea, it’s another thing to turn that idea into tangible change. The speakers at the Do Lectures all come from different industries and backgrounds, some are running massive events companies, some are changing the justice system, some are questioning the way we think about perfectionism, mental health, resilience in the workplace. But the common thread is that they’re not just thinking about it, they’re taking action.
(Sound intriguing? You can sign up for the 2025 interest list here. That rad group of humans has my ringing endorsement!!)
When I first registered for Do Wales in 2022, I didn’t know what would happen. But I figured just going was enough. Enough to break me of my waiting, wanting, perseverating… and move me into doing.
I heard stories of how people started off with goal X and have now ended up at goal Y; how the road is always circuitous and always shrouded in fog; why people still willingly walked into the unknown of chasing their dream.
Because they had to at least try.
Because staying where they were was getting too constricting, stale, mind numbing.
Because they are masochists.
Because they were more afraid of living with “what if” than “well, at least I gave it my best shot.”
Because they wanted to leave their mark on this earth.
Because what else is life for?
I can’t plan my life anymore.
Sure, I still plan vacations and lunch dates and gym sessions. But I can’t make a five-year plan, or even a one-year plan.
It started with doing my dream, but now it feels like my dream is doing me. I got the engine turning, and now I’m just along for the ride…
After my talk, a petite, brunette Brit approached me, introducing herself as the head of the Do Book Company.
This week, I signed my book deal. Do Loss will hit the shelves in early 2026!
It is a dream-turned-reality two years in the making, with twists and turns I could never have anticipated nor prepared for. In other words, I didn’t fly, train, and taxi to a rural farm on the west coast of Wales in 2022 because I thought one day I’d get a book deal out of it. I didn’t pitch myself as a Do speaker because I thought I’d get more than pre-talk heartburn. I didn’t cry on stage in front of a bunch of strangers in hopes of padding my resume. I did it all because I had to do something.
And I might as well do something that stirred my soul.
Flash forward to July 2024 and Leona and I were jumping up and down in our Do tipi, screaming with excitement.
If that doesn’t encapsulate the magic and fury of life’s mystery, I don’t know what does.
In awe,
P.S. If you have twenty minutes, you can watch my talk here!
Josh Connolly spoke right after me about emotional resilience, and if you have the time, our talks make an incredible pair! You can watch his here.
And finally, another chance to sign up for the Do Wales 2025 interest list. Who knows where it could take you…
Sue, I’m over the moon with excitement for you and Leona! HUGE congratulations! 🥳
Congratulations, Sue! So happy for you! xo